How Resentment May Be Spoiling Your Sexual Life

The unconscious way we retaliate from subjugation can create very undesirable consequences. A way to identify and stop them.

Antonieta Contreras, LCSW-R, CCTP-II, BCN, Author

Several of my clients are not having sex with their spouses/partners. I have two that haven’t touched their wives in more than a decade, others only have sex when drunk, while several “accept” having sex two or three times a year. The reason? Many sessions later, tears and doubts included, a number of them have discovered that the reason behind the lack of intimate connection is not lack of desire or low libido, but the presence of resentment.

The word resentment became part of the English language adopted from French “ressentir” which came from the Latin “sentire,” “to feel.” In English, instead of having a general sense of “feeling again” as in French or Latin, the word has become synonymous with anger, spite, and holding a grudge. Let’s focus on what resentment means in the English language and understand it through its connection to anger.

Resentment is a secret emotion

Resentment has a secretive quality that attaches to it a desire for revenge, punishment, frustration, alienation, and…